My Entire Journey

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What I’m about to share is going to be *extremely* personal. Most of my closest friends don’t even know this stuff about me.

I posted a transformation pic on Instagram... but I want to share the entire journey. The full story. Because that pic only scratches the SURFACE.

So. Here is it goes: - MY ENTIRE FITNESS JOURNEY:

I was a very chubby kid growing up. I hated PE and LOVED Doritos. My family (very lovingly) used to call me nicknames like “sumo” and “goondoo” (little fattie).

I didn’t really care when I was a kid. I was carefree and loved life!

I attended an all-girls school for middle school where I continued to feel confident and amazing about myself.

THEN.... When I was in 8th grade, my family moved to a small town in rural new Hampshire. It was probably the whitest town in America.

I started at a new school, a co-ed school. I was surrounded by cute boys and super skinny girls who could wear XS Abercrombie clothes and eat anything they wanted without gaining a pound.

I looked VERY different than everyone else. I was curvy, awkward, and and hairy. Puberty hit me hard.

I was really smart though. I threw myself into school. I was total kumon loving #mathlete.

But it felt like guys would not ever like me because I looked so different. The first time a guy asked me to a dance in middle school I felt like it was only because all the prettier girls were taken.

I felt like I had to be SUPER skinny if I wanted to fit in and be attractive.

I restricted my food hard, and developed a bad eating disorder. Like, so bad I lost my period for 3 months in high school.

I tried to hide it from my parents but they noticed and my mom made me work with a nutritionist to temporarily resolve my issues in high school and get to a stable weight.

I played a lot of sports and continued to stay active in college. But I still had a bad relationship with food and later in college my eating disorders re-surfaced.

College was a time where I again based my worth HEAVILY on external factors (grades, what sorority I was in, etc).

I did endless cardio, restricted my eating hard, and binged/purged often.

I tried lots of diets but would secretly await for the weekends where I could binge and blame it on alcohol.

I dated an AMAZING loving boyfriend through my 4 years in college (who I’m still dating today @wangjoshuah) but I spent the entire first two years sabotaging our relationship by flirting with other guys. Because deep down I did’t feel attractive and still needed the validation.

Several years ago, I graduated and moved to San Francisco.

I was still unhappy with my my body at the time and read that lifting weights would help me shed fat faster. So I signed up with my first an online coach.

I learned how to train AND eat via flexible dieting / tracking my macros.

And... MAN my body CHANGED!!!

I shed fat. Toned up.
I felt STRONG! I could do a push-up. I could squat things.
I no longer had anxiety about going out to eat, because I could fit food into my macros and knew how to be flexible with my diet.I no longer felt guilty after the weekends because I knew how to enjoy delicious foods while STILL reaching my goals.

More importantly... my body was no longer a MYSTERY THING that CONTROLLED my ENTIRE LIFE.

I had PROVED to myself that I could change my body, if I wanted to. I finally knew how, and I knew how to do it in a manner I actually ENJOYED.
The gym didn’t feel like punishment!

I could still be a foodie without feeling guilt each time I ate delicious food!

***I felt in control of my body. It did not CONTROL ME.***

I could have fun with my friends without changing clothes 10 million times beforehand.
I could take pics in a bikini without cringing.
I could enjoy date nights with my boyfriend and actually feel good about myself.

I felt so confident that I competed in a bikini bodybuilding competition last summer.

Even after after a few months of post competition weight gain… I was SHOCKED to find that I still felt amazing in my body.

I looked in the mirror NAKED EVERY SINGLE DAY and ONLY saw good things. This was a SUPER weird feeling for me to actually LIKE my reflection instead of picking it apart. Even when I had gained weight. And THIS was why I named my first group program #lookgoodnaked.

This strength and KNOWLEDGE over my body = POWER.

Once I felt more power over what my body felt like…. I started to feel power over my LIFE.

I was able to #askforit, ask for the things I TRULY WANTED in my life.

Not just a bikini body—we’re talking about the BIG things. The MASSIVE, life changing things-
>> I started my coaching business 💪🏽
>> Quit my prestigious Silicon Valley job that I secretly hated >> Grew my business $$
>> Traveled + said YES to opportunities like a casual last minute trip to Rome last weekend.
And most importantly…. I impacted the lives of thousands of others DAILY.

Along the way I also realized that my self worth really has absolutely to do with what I look like.
(But not gonna like I still like my abs…. lol. They are a daily reminder of my hard work and journey).

Life starts with your body.

Once you have power over your body = You have power over your ENTIRE LIFE.

What are you afraid to #askfor in your life because you’re insecure in yourself?
More money? A better relationship? Travel?

Your life is a choice. You can CHOOSE to live it at the next level if you want to.

It starts with your body, and how you see yourself.

NUTRITION has always been the thing that I struggled with the most in my own journey. I’m finally in a place where I feel amazing about food, fitness, and life.